A Girl In The Den
{best viewed full screen}





The Music Beer-and-Nachos Is Playing:
{Honky Tonk Badonkadonk} ||-|| { Songs About Me } ||-|| {Trace Adkins}
||-|| Suggestions : ||-|| ||-|| : Comments ||-||









My blog is worth $16,936.20.
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||-- The Coffee Table --||
(The Den's eZine Story Collection)
||-Bedside Reads-||
||-Writings Of RemittanceGirl-||

||-- The Bar --||
||-Politics and Gov't Night-||
||-MinxMix-||
||-Poetry Night-||
||-Sexy Tomatoes-||
.
||-- Beer Nuts --||
||-Adopt-A-Greyhound-||
||-CarpeNoctem-||
||-VGCats-||

||-- Couch Stainers --||
||-Big Dick-||
||-Boredom_SUX-||
||-Bunny-||
||-Chick (& Dick [MIA])-||
||-Chicken-||
||-derek s.-||
||-flyndrgn307-||
||-Jack-||
||-Jeanette-||
||-Jethro-||
||-JP-||
||-kracker-||
||-Mike (#1)-||
||-Mr. Smithereen-||
||-Ninsianna-||
||-onestar-||
||-Pup-||
||-RaisingOrleans-||
||-SonGoku-||
||-Turf-||
||-Trashman-||
||-Tricia-||
||-Walrus-||
||-Woody-||
||-Zelda-||

||-- Couch Potatos --||
||-7dawg-||
||-El Sid-||
||-Mexikid-||
||-rabbitfester-||
||-Zeus, Big Dick's Cat-||

||-- The Dark Corner --||
( 18+ )
||-Avatar-||
||-Greg-||
||-Nate-||
||-RemittanceGirl-||
||-Shay-||
||-Three Boobs-||

||-- On Beer Run --||
||-Azion(Soul)-||
||-Big Fan-||
||-D.O.M.-||
||-DooGooder-||
||-DW-||
||-Jay-||
||-Jazz-||
||-Johnny5-||
||-Kat-||
||-Mike (#2)-||
||-Polerand-||
||-Rattl'n along-||
||-Se7en-||
||-Stealth-||
||-TJ-||
||-The Furnace-||



||-- JukeBox Review --||

||-Blaine Larsen-||
-How Do You Get That Lonely-
{album}

||-CrazyTown-||
-Lolipop Porn Bitch-
{album}

||-Dresden Dolls-||
-Girl Anachronism-
-Miss Me-
-The Perfect Fit-
{album}

||-Jeff Bates-||
-My Inlaws Are Outlaws-
{album}

||-Kelly Clarkson-||
-Addicted-
{album}

||-LoneStar-||
-Amazed-
{album}

||-Marilyn Manson-||
-Sweet Dreams-
{album}

||-NickelBack-||
-Next Contestant-
{album}

||-Nine Inch Nails-||
-Closer-
{album}

||-Peter Gabriel-||
-Signal To Noise-
{album}

||-Toby Keith-||
-Taliban Song-
-Weed With Willie-
{album}

||-Tony C & The Truth-||
-Gravity-
-Medusa-
{album}

||-Trace Adkins-||
-(Love Me Like There's) No Tomorrow-
{album}
-Honky Tonk Badonkadonk-
{album}




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||- Beer-and-Nachos Supports CLICK -||

Dear "Paco",

If you would be kind enough to pay for the plane ticket to her hometown, I will go kick her ass. Until then, FUCK OFF!

For the rest of you, if you would like directions to my "new" blog, email me.

x Beer-and-Nachos



Monday, December 05, 2005
Dangerous Thoughts {long}

My thoughts recently have me scared half to death. A lot of them revolve around two things: a dream I had Saturday night and death.

Let me just say, first of all, if you don't have an open mind, stop reading and go play somewhere else. These are my inner demon thoughts that I've lived with since I was little--and no innocent child under the age of 50 should have to think of them; but I do.

I am a knowledge hungry person. I seek it out. I indulge in it. Books are my best friend. Theoretical Physics was my intended major. Theocracy has repulsed me. I am skeptical of "divine-intervention".

I want to believe God created Earth and all living things, but how? It's not possible from a logic standpoint, though I know religion isn't based on logic. I want to believe in the "big bang theory", but that makes no sense either....how did all those particles come about that created the right gaseous state that started the kaboom that formed the necessary atoms that created what has evolved into what we now know?

I guess the thing is, I can't fathom a nothingness to precede us all. It's this same nothingness I see for death; I just can't imagine it. Afterlife? It doesn't quite seem possible. I want to believe so bad that there is, but what proof do we have? Ninety-nine percent of the mediums I've met and/or seen have been false, and/or scam artists after money. I do still try to believe, though. I'm just finding it hard.

From this I can say it's not death I fear, it's uncertainty I fear. I don't want to dissolve back into nothingness, if in fact that is where I came from. I get a dead-cold feeling when I think about it, about death, about old age, about the future.

I'm scared of this recent movement to get an apartment with C. It's something I've been longing for, but now that it's staring me in the face, I'm getting cold feet. It's another step closer to death, I'm getting older, I'm stepping into the future, and I still have no answers as to what lays beyond.


I had a dream on Saturday night that scared the shit out of me. It's not uncommon for me to have a completely realistic dream and remember it, but usually those are just that--dreams and fantasy. This one wasn't. It involved C and me and a baby. I saw our boy as perfect as can be, and can still see him if I close my eyes. And C too, the first moment he saw us; he'd arrived late, too late to be of any help, but stopped just inside the doorway. He looked uncertain as to how to move on, should he come in, yet there was a silent, fearful pride too. And the baby...so small yet so strong...his wild whisps of blonde nearly white offset by the most beautiful big blue-grey eyes....

It hurts my chest to remember it. Pain of love. He looked so much like C, yet so independant too.

I can still see them both, there, in front of me, on the beach of that lake. Spitting image of perfection in father holding son.

But it was only a dream. A life-like dream. A dream that is haunting me. I don't know if it's haunting me of what never will be or what I deeply desire and want yet cannot reach yet.

But I do know that moving forward scares me and will scare me until I know for certain what lies ahead.

Just as with death, I will be scared until the moment arises--unless I can find knowledge of what is to come. Does that make sense?

It is written in the Bible (don't ask me where, I've lost track of bookmarks and memory verses) that a man seeking life will find death and a man seeking death shall find life. It is not this I live by, it is just something that I remembered while writing this. I seek answers to death, yet I find none. It is the same for life. I am too greedy for knowledge to focus my engergies to one or the other. Which, at this time, is leaving me frustrated and scared.

I have had thoughts similar to all this since I awoke from that dream Sunday morning. It scared me so much because I awoke about four times during the night and each time I fell right back to sleep in the exact same point in the dream I'd left off. I was scared to go back to sleep by about the fifth time--so much so I made myself fall out of bed so I could stagger down the stairs for some water.

The memory of that dream haunted me all day and I had chills. C took me to see Aeon Flux Sunday night. That movie, in the state of mind I was in...not the best mix.

Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful movie! I loved it from all standpoints. But what I got from that movie is something I'm not sure was on the original agenda of the moviemakers: love survives death and in a way, there is life after death.

I really don't know if I'm saying everything the way I want to say it, or getting it across the way I want to, but it's out now. Maybe somebody will actually pay attention and possibly understand. I tried to tell this to C, get him to understand, but he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. Thought I was caught up in the "love" portion of the movie, the baby boom of my friends/relatives, and holding too tightly to us moving in together.

In Response....

It's not out of character for me to post things like that last post, which is why it shocked me when I got asked the question why I never posted men-artisticnudes (porn) for women.

Let me say a few things here....

1) Most women aren't visually stimulated.
2) There is nothing about a male's nether-region anatomy that does anything for me other than physically.
3) I, like most women I know, am stimulated by using my imagination, thus Literotica and romance novels are my best friend.
4) That's what Avatar and Shay are for on my sidebar
5) My readers are predominately male--why should they see something they see (and wank) everyday?
6) IT'S MY FUCKING BLOG.

...Not to mention that if I were to post up photos of the male anatomy, there would be a lot of closeups on abs, arms, and necks, (or all at once) the three most tantilizing features (when properly maintained) to me (unless you count a nice ass in wranglers....). But I'm content to sit and drool over my one picture of C that he has ever sent me (ok, so he sent me two, but the other was the afore mentioned worthless shot).

Does this answer the question? Researching my photos and reloacting them to host them has made me slightly light headed.....

Saturday, December 03, 2005
^.^


WARNING: THIS POST NOT SAFE FOR VIEWING AT WORK!

Reason: pictures



Trace Adkins has a new song. It's playing now, if you hadn't noticed. As a slight service to those who enjoy a nice "badonkadonk", I present to you the lyrics to this song along with a few visuals between verses and chorus marks and bridges (as found on Cowboylyrics.com - I do not take responsibility for wrong or mispelled or misplaced lyrics)....



Honky Tonk Badonkadonk


Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)
 
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)

 





And now, for a promise to Trashman, I hand off two pictures of me, President Trashman '08's Secretary of UnderCover Affairs and two of my outfits that will be worn when he takes office and I snag my own desk (to hide under *wink*)....


(sorry dears, that *IS* a thong peeking out)


Friday, December 02, 2005
Work....

....is killing me via my ulcer.



See what I'm dealing with? This is actually LESS THAN ONE FOURTH of what I've left to do--by tomorrow!! *faints*

There is talk of extending my contract through Tuesday, and possibly even to next Friday, but to be honest, I'm quite tired of this place; they are unorganized, they don't take into account actual working time, and they can't/refuse to give me a definitive date on when I'll be free to move off to another company. I'm about to do what Mike did and say "Screw it, I'm starting my new job Monday!"

Only problem is I don't have a new job. Each place I send my resume either trashes it for lack of degree or refuses it because I can't give a definitive date on when I can start.

And no new job means I can't get that place, which means no rest for me. Which means this ulcer that's acting up right now and causing my stomach to refuse practically everything I swallow will only get worse.


An idea just struck; y'all wanna help my apartment search? Better yet, does anyone own or know someone who owns a home in the FAR NORTH Dallas area that would be willing to rent to me for a decent price?


...

On an unrelated note:
Seeing as I'm here for a few days and that's it, would it be worth it to bring in a brand new box of tissue for my desk?



EDIT:
They just fucking changed the design AGAIN!!!
This machine is due to be shipped MONDAY AT 7:30am and we don't even have it completely designed, we are STILL adding parts and numbers and WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A SAFE WAY TO KEEP THE LID OPEN!

'scuse me while I go scream my frustrations.

Um....

Ya know how I occasionally piss off a wife of one of my readers?


She's actually gotten to the point where she has threatened to leave him....
...because he reads me and IM's me every few weeks to say "hi" and catch up on the 'behind the scenes' news.



Does this add flare to my site? Or to my online personality? Hmm....



WAIT! Is that even a real reason to throw into court? Can that be done?

Judge: Why are you asking for this divorce?
Wife: Because he refuses to stop IM'ing this one chick in TX. We live across the country and he photographs women nude, but none of that matters, I trust him physically around other women, but when he gets near a computer, I am so afraid this engaged chick from TX is gonna steal him away....



*sigh* Makes no sense to me.

Thursday, December 01, 2005
I SO Seriously Need A Life.

Is there any more to be said?

I have worked over 11 STRAIGHT hours each day this week (with the exception of Tuesday-took a short lunch to meet with a friend), I go home and have nothing to do (unless you count pissing off a reader's wife), I either cook or go out to eat or go shopping just to bide my time, when the opportunity arises I travel four blocks just to see how pissed-off I can get C's mother, I spoil LittleOne, I spend money....

...you get the idea. I concluded that I only do these things because either I don't have a life or I don't have a quiet place to lounge about in ze'nood--which, oftentimes, is really all I want to do when I get off work; I don't want to come home and deal with fussing and fighting--I'm not a parent yet-- I don't want to come home and cook a big meal, I don't want to come home and argue with the parental units because they've had death threats from their students or they're short on groceries or they're short on cash--come to think of it, they still owe me $200...I'll just have 'em reimburse me through my insurance payment....

I've found a solution: either get more friends who are intellectual and love lounging around watching tv (and are up, once in awhile, for "stupid-humor"--cuz that's just important), enjoy going out and doing things (bowling, for one), don't mind having Taco Bell or Arby's thrown in the mix of homecooked meals (at least twice a week, I'm not a stove-slave yet!), and aren't nerdy (geeky is ok, nerdy is...well, it's nerdy); OR get my own place where I can come home, cook, watch tv, do whatever, and enjoy a quiet comfortable place to lounge about in ze'nood (come to think of it, alone with a book would be nice...for once).

I somehow don't see the first coming about anytime soon. And so far I'm a 12month contracted job away from that second solution. But I'm slowly getting prepared for it! Mandy and E just donated their old dining room set and matching end tables (they're keeping the matching coffee table--grr) for my future unfurnished living abode. It's a BEAUTIFUL set worth HUNDREDS. Quite literally.

So, yea, I have a place picked out, WELL worth the money (2bedroom, in this area, for only $495/mo? You THINK I'm gonna pass that up?), I just need the job to maintain the rent. C would move in with me...eventually. He's not thrilled with me paying all the bills, paying rent, having a job an hour and a half away, and trying to set up night school in the Spring to (1)further my education (2)boost possible pay--seems to take away from his "manly, protective, and dominate nature." Poor dear.

He also seems to be taking the sexual-harassment thing rather well--meaning he's not hunting down and killing. He's all about wrapping his arms around me and asking if I'm alright and kissing my forehead and holding me close and never letting go. Practically to the point where he wants to go with me to any future possible job interviews. He's found a way to prove his manly-protectiveness.

Can you believe I was accused of being in love with him yesterday? *sigh*

And even if he doesn't move in with me right away, I'll have a two bedroom place TO MYSELF to freely kick back and relax in. Maybe then I could find some more friends--you know, the kind that could bring over some sort of vodka housewarming gift and would be content to flip back-and-forth between Lost and the Stars game and would actually enjoy discussing politics and current events during ensuing simulcast comercials....



Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Maaawnin'

That last entry, which I got a ton of phone calls about and not a single comment (I love my concerned readers), is about the same manager who called me up and openly asked me to be his mistress.

Did I not tell y'all about that?

Huh.

Well, see, it was just after C and I split this last time and I was over at TJ's place to watch a Stars game. He called to invite me, personally, to the company's anniversary special open house--they were showcasing what they do to their vending companies, their customer companies, their friends and family, and prospective customer companies. I'm a worker with one of their customer companies, but I'm not upper management, I'm just a step below the invitees from my company--this manager especially wanted to see me there. After business, he slipped into his droning on and on about women in the workforce, in this feild blah blah blah blah. Then he started talking about my single state.

See, he and my supervisor are friends. They go for drinks and chat--err, gossip about work and stuff. My supervisor let it slip I was single. This manager took it upon himself to tell me, before he found this out, that his wife supposedly allowed him to bring home playthings because she traveled a lot.

Like I'll ever believe that.

Or take anyone up on it!

Nice try buddy. Do better, but quit trying on me.

In this phone call, he quite openly brought this up and quite openly asked me to be his mistress, spilling all he had to offer (besides making a woman feel special -gag-).

Right there I had something that could get him in tons of trouble. But, being the person I am, I let it slide. I mean, Hell, I joke around with my coworkers all the time, worse topics come up and get shrugged away.


But then last night happened.

See, I'm out of a job either today or tomorrow, depends on the UK's decision to extend the deadline for the paperwork. This manager mentioned me to a customer company of his and they showed interest in me, and we were supposed to meet today for lunch, however being a partnership, they refuse to meet one-on-one when the other is out of town, so I am awaiting a call for tomorrow or Friday. So last night, while more than just the manager was there, I went to see the kind of products that this company does. I found out the customer company is RedRockMicro. RRM is a startup dream business of some other higher corporation. Anyway, I took a tour of their product with this manager and sat afterwards in his office discussing my impending lack of employment. I knew his boss (CEO and one cool guy) was leaving at 6:30, and I had arrived at 5:30, taken the tour (roughly fifteen minutes max) and it soon became apparent he was keeping me talking until he knew for sure his boss had gone. I casually looked at my watch and knew I had to leave and leave NOW -- it was 6:45.

He made as if to walk me to the door, then walked me into an empty and dark board room. I skirted around his attempts to hug me and he showed his dismay to the table and chairs he went about rearranging and clearing. He then walked me to the door, which was locked and as I reached to unlock it, not noticing I had literally backed myself into a corner, he ran his hand down my back and grabbed my ass.

Let me say I've been in this situation before, and that one I actually brought on myself by flirting and teasing and inviting the danger. This was pure unwanted attentions. I pushed him away with more force than I knew I had, and didn't realize that the heel of my stilleto had stomped toward his foot (my push actually knocked him out of my heel's reach). He was a little bewildered and I was slightly frantic to get out the door.

When he reached over and opened the door I sorta squeezed up to the corner of the wall and then slipped out the door. We stood outside for a few minutes discussing when the company would call me and then he had his arms around me in a stiff hug and asked --not jokingly-- when I would allow him to take advantage of me.

Never.

I pushed out of his hug and walked swiftly to my car, something even I admit I should have done as soon as I was out that door.


So today, as soon as my supervisor gets here (oh, another fourty-five minutes as right now it's 7:15), I'm closing his office door and sitting down with him about this. One good thing: he reads my blog and is one of the ones who contacted me last night, though he txt'd my phone, so he knows something's up.



The first statement of that last post (I'm a fucking idiot) I firmly believe. I should have waited for a more suitable time to preview the products of the company looking to hire me.



---
And to the reader's wife who insists on harassing me: believe what you will. I have no plans for your husband, never have, and if you don't stop harassing me, I really will come to your town and start harassing you the way you believe I am doing. Normally I'm a sweet girl, but if you keep it up, I will come and break that pretty nose of yours.

And, if I were you, I'd quit with the double standards. Really does nothing for your character. Your husband takes nude photographs of his friends, and you're fine with this, but you have a problem with him going online and looking up porn and talking to me, a girl who USED to have topless shots? He's not cheating with me, no chance of it ever coming to that, but those girls he shoots, I'd be worried there could be something there. You claim I take him away mentally, I say that from what I've seen of you, you push him away.

He loves you dearly, he's told me that a million times. It's quite sickening when I hear that and see how you act toward me. Do I have intentions of coming on to him? No. I'm happily affianced myself. So back.thefuck.off.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Why The Fuck Do I Bother????????

I'm a fucking idiot. That's all that ever needs be said.

Anyone know a good Dallas-based sexual-harassment lawyer I can hire?

Diet News

Breakfast today:

- 4 12oz cups Dark Chocolate Hot Cocoa
- 1 croissant (plain)
- 5 select cookies (one of each--and each one is full of nuts and fruits)
- 1/2 20oz bottle of PowerAde (the blue one)


This is better than my normal daily breakfasting of...
- 3 12oz cups Dark Chocolate Hot Cocoa
- 2 12oz cans Pepsi

....don't you think?

Monday, November 28, 2005
Family Talk

Here's a subject I love going into...


We all know my family is crazy and that's the main reason C refused to come over for Thanksgiving. He seems to think I'm the sane one; in the words of one of my more favorite cartoons: "He don't know me too well, do he?"

But how screwed up is my seemingly perfect family? To answer that, let's delve into the Holiday Spirit that has come up like a fog so thick, even a laser can't trim it.

Around this time of the year, usually, we'd be pulling out the tree, compiling lists to Santa, decorating, and generally cursing the slow movement of time--at least us kids would, the parentals would always wait until the last minute before allowing us the time to indulge in the shopping. They'd stockpile presents all year without us realizing it and we'd scour their room in search of the elusive gifts. We'd all go shopping at once, in one day we'd draw names from a hat, buy one gift for that person, hide it in the buggy under a coat, and try to see if we could guess what else mom and dad threw in the hiding. We were raised on little for Christmas, being always taught (or tried to be taught) that the holidays were about giving, not recieving.

But it was also a time for fighting. I've never known financial stability, nor have I known financial crisis--I've been too unexposed to them both, though I've lived both. (one of those you're living it, but you don't realize it kinda things)

My parents have fought since I can remember.

No, I take that back, I remember a time of sunshine and happiness, but I was really really really little at the time. But once the fighting began, it stuck. The holidays always seemed like the fighting got worse.

A smart kid learns to steer clear, walk eggshells until the New Year holiday.

Nowadays there's no exception, and the only thing I see coming is more bad news.

The lighter side, if there is such a thing, is that Sis and BIL are down to, literally, their last dime. It has gotten so bad for them that a parent in the children's church nursery, the group Sis watches over, has put Sis and family in the "people to help" jar; which means they won't have to buy any gifts or cook any Christmas meal, the church will do that, allowing them to save what money they can for bills and neccessities--which the church will be readily available to help with if they only say the word. Not only that, but Sis has taken up a job at a local cleaning service company and cleans banks after 11pm and before 7am just to help them scrape by. Upon hearing that, and knowing what Sis and BIL need, I immediately sent her a $150 gift card to Wal*Mart. White-trashy? If you say so.

Thing is, I didn't grow up with much, but there were a few Christmas's where if Sis hadn't sent gifts, I wouldn't've had a Christmas. I can vividly remember one such year. Dad wouldn't let us open the yearly box from Sis to count how many gifts we each got; he hoarded it and went and covered up her name with "Santa" on half the gifts that year. How could I not try to repay that?

The downside to that is, that money came from savings, the savings that I'm using to get an apartment--the apartment I desperately need now that I know some insider information.

You see, my dad and I had a talk a few months ago, in which he called me "a little birdie who hides when confronted." He may have been right, but that's only because I'm a smart little birdie who's learned when it's best to run and stay. Right now? HA! It's time to hit the barracks, we got a bombshell about to drop! And knowing how everything falls back on me -- the oldest sibling living in the house -- I'm headed out that door!

As it appears, this year is no different from every other year: the Christmas holiday will be fraught with fighting and yelling and slamming doors and lack of money. With luck (and your support) I won't be anywhere near the implosive battlefield.

Yes, I'm asking for your help. For Christmas, lend a helping hand, help put me in an apartment. Right now my job situation is whack; at best I won't have a new job for three weeks and by then it'll be Christmas. Unless by some strange twist of fate I land a major contract with a well paying company.... I'm not asking for money, just the furnishings for an apartment...you know, gift cards to IKEA, Target, Wal*Mart, Sears....places I can go and get the things I need. Though, my fear is, this current job lead I've got will fall through and I won't be able to get the place...it's a 2bed/1bath for $495/mo; really not that bad. AND it's in a quiet neighborhood and is quite homey with the slightly rundown homes housing elderly folk surrounding the place. Only downside is it's next to the DART (dallas-area-rapid-transit) track. Good thing I grew up with train tracks in my backyard!

Gawd I go soooo offtrack SOoooo fast! Grab my collar next time, why don't you?

So I'm shipping my savings off to North Carolina to my sister and the kids while trying to outrun some disaster revolving around another sister at home.... I have quite the Christmas coming up. Good thing I've already got $400 worth of gifts rounded up. I learned how to buy'n'stash a long time ago; now I'm putting it to good use. Bunny, since I feel like I owe you something, I'm buying you a Christmas gift. Where's your wish list?


The family is in a riot right now. My great-aunt is in the process of buying a house from my dad (though she doesn't know he's really just giving it to her and using the money on random repairs to the place) and moving from Florida to Oklahoma. My grandmother is in a depression-slump about her age, her childrens' ages, and her great-grandchildrens' ages (not to mention the "getting old" health issues her children are running into)--and I think there may be a great-great-grandchild in there somewhere; with such a huge family, you lose count.... My aunt, who is taking care of my grandmother, is in frail health herself, shocked by her own son leaving to Brazil not far after he graduated college. Another aunt, who, along with her husband, moved into their house in a "rent-to-own" contract with my father, is now forced to work 70+hrs a week to pay bills (not including rent; rent has been waived indefinately) and medical bills for her lung cancer. She and her husband basically work in a legalized sweat shop making sport braces and "squish" pillows (those pillows that have the microbead fillings)--the same place (with new name) that my mom worked at when she was pregnant with my brother and had an iron fall and severely burn her hand.


-- oh look! A phone call from Sis....hang on a sec.


Oy! It's 25mins later! Good thing I'm on lunch break! She wanted to tell me she got the email-giftcard. Shocked speechless. The first words out of her mouth (after about five minutes of sputtering): "You know dad would have a coniption if he knew what you did!"

Yup, this is one family bursting with...something...I don't know...but you can feel the love. No really, you can, it leaves pretty black and blue eardrums too.

Well, I guess I oughta get back to work...I mean I do have an obligation to fulfill before I'm out of here....Wednesday is my last day....If I'm lucky enough to last until then....


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